I’m not a fan of 3-D movies. In fact, given the choice, I would pay more not to have to watch one most of the time. With few exceptions, every 3-D movie I have ever seen has left me nauseated, dizzy, and the recipient of an unnecessary headache. For the past three years, 3-D movies have dominated the summertime blockbuster market as scores of action-adventure and animation loving movie-goers fork over the big bucks to pay for their chance to watch the latest films in 3-D, rather than traditional 2-D. Ticket price differences can be anywhere from $5.00 — $7.50 extra for the nerdy looking one size fits all black glasses, and while some films have been excellent examples of 3-D done right (think Avatar, Alice in Wonderland, and Tron 3-D), there have been an unforgivable number of duds. The most obvious reason for this is the two ways in which current 3-D is applied in film making.
In the first (and best) method, the everything about the film is created for a 3-D experience right out of the gate. Scenes are filmed in 3-D, optimized for 3-D projection, and actually look pretty decent in 3-D. In place, at least. Even in the most well done 3-D movies, there are those inevitable scenes that end up looking far too dark to make out particulars, or get so blurred around the edges that you are left wondering “why, again, are we doing this?”
The other way 3-D movies are made is for the express purpose of marketing them as 3-D, and should be illegal. In this method, the film is shot just like any other movie, with no special consideration for the fact that viewers will be expected to watch it in 3-D. The 3-D elements are sort of shabbily worked in, like an overlay, after the whole movie has been made. The result is typically a cinematic abomination where the movie goer sits watching meticulously for anything that even slightly feels like a 3-D special effect — only to find maybe two or three half-hearted interceptions of such throughout the whole experience. (When you can recall the two really 3-D things you saw in a movie, this is the kind you watched, I promise.)
Now, television manufacturers and cable internet bundles are capitalizing on this temporary 3-D wave as they desperately try to convince world consumers that owning a 3-D TV is not only a good idea, but probably necessary, too. Somehow. Because…well, otherwise you’d have to watch all those crummy, not-really-made-for-3-D movies in 2-D. You’d actually be able to see them, so what would be the point of that?
I am not about to hop on the bandwagon of 3-D television anytime soon. I’m also not going to pay extra to see anymore 3-D movies.
Except for maybe Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. That’s my last one. I promise.
